10.30.2010

"If you are going to fall in love with me, it’s only fair that you know what you are falling in love with. You are falling in love with my insecurities, and my obsession with trying to figure out what everyone thinks of me. You are falling in love with my immaturity, my constant need to feel loved and appreciated, my overactive tear ducts, my internet obsession. You fall in love with my troubled past, and my hopes and dreams, and how I’m a hopeless romantic at heart. If you fall in love with me, you fall in love with my self-hate and all my imperfections and my perception that nobody could ever love me. But, you are also falling in love with the way my eyes will smile when I’m with you, the way I’ll text you in the mornings just telling you I hope you have a great day. You’re falling in love with the occasionally humorous and/or thought-provoking things I say, and the way I blush when people ask me about you. But to me, the most important thing will be that you are falling in love with me, despite me thinking that it is impossible."

waiting

Greyson Chance - Waiting Outside The Lines Lyrics :-

You’ll never enjoy your life,
living inside the box
You’re so afraid of taking chances,
how you gonna reach the top?

Rules and regulations,
force you to play it safe
Get rid of all the hesitation,
it’s time for you to seize the daaay

Instead of just sitting around
and looking down on tomorrow
You gotta let your feet off the ground,
the time is now

I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting,
I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines

Try to have no regrets
even if it’s just tonight
How you gonnna walk ahead
if you keep living behind

Stuck in my same position,
you deserve so much more
There’s a whole world around us,
just waiting to be explored

Instead of just sitting around
and looking down on tomorrow
You gotta let your feet off the ground,
the time is now, just let it go

The world will force you to smile
I’m here to help you notice the rainbow
Cause I know,
What’s in you is out there

http://lyricsmusicvideo.blogspot.com/2010/10/greyson-chance-waiting-outside-lines.html

I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting,
I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines

I’m trying to be patient (I’m trying to be patient)
the first step is the hardest (the hardest)
I know you can make it,
go ahead and take it

I’m Waiting, waiting, just waiting I’m waiting
I’m waiting, waiting, just waiting
I’m waiting, waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines
Waiting outside the lines

You’ll never enjoy your life
Living inside the box
You’re so afraid of taking chances,
How you gonna reach the top?

Read more: http://lyricsmusicvideo.blogspot.com/2010/10/greyson-chance-waiting-outside-lines.html#ixzz13p1zJn3Y

10.23.2010

10.17.2010

please let's talk again.

10.12.2010

5 steps of grieving

Denial.....

Anger.....

Bargaining..........

Depression.....

Acceptance...........


Unfortunately i kept going back and forth.

Banksy

I can't help but smile but be saddened at the same time. Its like I got excited about what he did with your other favorite the simpsons and want to talk about it with you. I remember when you told me about him, random conversation and interesting at the same time.

I looked at his works for the first time, I think they are great. Dark and political with a touch of creativity and reality. I wonder what you would say with his works.

10.11.2010

I was your little penguin.
And you were my dolphin.

10.10.2010

I looked in all the places you aren’t. I just can’t find the places you are. I only know that you are where I am not.

---Winnie the Pooh

Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind

I remember you trying to recall this title because you said i wish i can erase your memory the last time we went out. I never understood what you meant by that and till now i still fathom what exactly you wanted at that time or what you are really trying to say or rather i am in denial. You said you don't want me to have a memory of you, i still don't understand that. Right now, my thoughts are memories of you. I watched the movie hoping that our ending would be similar to it, choosing not to forget and choosing to stay. But it wasn't the case.

They were right no words can explain the hurt nor the desire if you really wanted to forget or not. A part of me has always remembered you but the other would just want to obliterate every single memory even in deeper recesses of my thoughts. Thinking maybe without single memory of you my heart can be fooled. My heart can let go.

Now you cut me off, blocked and obliterated. Thrown to the side like a trash. Breaking up would have been better or cutting ties, that way its clearer and i am not left hanging with empty words and lies.



How happy is the blameless vestal's lot!
The world forgetting, by the world forgot.
Eternal sunshine of the spotless mind!
Each pray'r accepted, and each wish resign'd;
-----Alexander Pope, "Eloisa to Abelard"
It’s sad when someone you know becomes someone you knew.
Henry Rollins
There is always one person you love who becomes that definition. It usually happens retrospectively, but it happens eventually. This is the person who unknowingly sets the template for what you will always love about other people, even if some of these lovable qualities are self-destructive and unreasonable. The person who defines your understanding of love is not inherently different than anyone else; they’re often just the person you happen to meet the first time you really, really, want to love someone. But that person still wins. They win, and you lose. Because for the rest of your life, they will control how you feel about everyone else.
Chuck Klosterman, Killing Yourself To Live
I did not need to know if he could love me. I needed to know if he could need me.
Jonathan Safran Foer, Extremely Loud And Incredibly Close
Does it break my heart, of course, every moment of every day, into more pieces than my heart was made of, I never thought of myself as quiet, much less silent, I never thought about things at all, everything changed, the distance that wedged itself between me and my happiness wasn’t the world, it wasn’t the bombs and burning buildings, it was me, my thinking, the cancer of never letting go, is ignorance bliss, I don’t know, but it’s so painful to think, and tell me, what did thinking ever do for me, to what great place did thinking ever bring me? I think and think and think, I’ve thought myself out of happiness one million times, but never once into it.
Jonathan Safran Foer
How do you stop loving someone? It was one of the world’s more brutal mysteries. The more you tried, the less it worked.
Anne Brashares
It’s there, I know it is, because when I look at you, I can feel it. And-and I look at you, and I… and I’m home. Please… I don’t want that to go away.
Finding Nemo
Dare I say I miss him? I do. I miss him. I still see him in my dreams. They are nightmares mostly, but nightmares tinged with love. Such is the strangeness of the human heart.
Yann Martel, Life of Pi
Adversity is like a strong wind. I don’t mean just that it holds us back from a place we might otherwise go. It also tears us from things that cannot be torn , so that afterward we see ourselves as we really are, and not merely as we might like to be.
Arthur Golden, Memoirs of a Geisha
I close my eyes, inhale, and feel a rush of heat and energy that takes my breath away. It is the feeling of wanting something so much that it borders on an actual need, and the power and urgency of this need overwhelms me.
Emily Giffin, Love the One You’re With
Maybe that’s just growing up. When you’re young, you tell yourself things like ‘Well, if it didn’t work out, it wasn’t meant to be’ as if that actually meant something just because it sounds like it does. I think you can say something like that so blithely because you expect to stumble onto something else just as wonderful just around the next bend in the road. But people are rare perfect unique things and just because everyone really does live a life full of farewells doesn’t mean you shouldn’t at least realize what it really means to say goodbye to something that meant everything. Just because you WILL survive and get over it doesn’t mean you should let it go.
Adam Duritz

"Human beings are funny. They long to be with the person they love but refuse to admit openly. Some are afraid to show even the slightest sign of affection because of fear. Fear that their feelings may not be recognized, or even worst, returned. But one thing about human beings puzzles me the most is their conscious effort to be connected with the object of their affection even if it kills them slowly within."

— Sigmund Freud

10.09.2010

10.03.2010

"All that we are is the result of what we have thought. The mind is everything. What we think, we become."

— Buddha

"So, I love you because the entire universe conspired to help me find you."

— Paulo Coelho

"Men always want to be a woman’s first love. That is their clumsy vanity. We women have a more subtle instinct about things. What we like is to be a man’s last romance."

— Oscar Wilde

I chose to run away, after all.

10.02.2010

what i miss

I can't lie.
I wake up everyday hoping you would come back. I miss the talks. I miss talking about celtics and anime with you or could be random topics. I miss teasing you and taking it back at the same time. I miss going over to your place just surprising you or bringing snacks. I miss going over your things, pretending to organize them. I miss just the smell of your shirt when i hug you. I miss your smile whenever you tease me. I miss how meticulous you are when it comes to cooking and scrapbooking and also tea making. I miss you doing stupid random things. I miss plushies too and your dog. I miss the way you walk. I miss pinching your side and tease you. I miss the touch of your hand to mine. I miss you.