I just want to post something, something that I will ponder upon months or years from now. I guess this prevents me from killing who I really am, more of like holding on to myself that I am starting to leave behind. I know that this, what I am doing were all behind me now and its haunting me. And still I'm reaching out to it.
I feel so weird, balancing my checkbook and life, it feels all surreal, and I keep telling myself to wake up. I guess I have read too much of my friend's blogs that is why I feel insecure from their accomplishments and confidence, freedom that I used to enjoy. My life just turned around and I miss the freedom.
But even though I feel all these anxiety, frustration, insecurity; I thank the Lord for His kindness and love that he continuously give me that spiritual "high" and everytime I thnk about it I smile at life and look forward to it. :D
1.15.2009
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